This effort of mine is about shining a light on how an Apocalyptic Political Cult posing as a religious community rejects ALL of the teachings of their supposed messiah while smugly pretending to uphold all those values– this is what makes them fuckers.
It’s one of the most astonishing acts of cognitive dissonance in human history.
And it happens every day.
Fucking Evangelicals™ mucking up our governments and using their religious insanity and illiteracy to smugly destroy a government of The People, by The People, for The People.
If there’s something Fucking Evangelicals™ do NOT care about, it’s The People.
They pretend to be about love… but when it actually matters, how often do you see the Evangies ever actually love people by sacrificing their time, money, and resources to help those who are the Least of These?
A thing you learn once you are in the disability and poverty communities is how if you ever reach out to religious communities for help you will almost never receive any. Not without a stern tsk tsking of how your problems aren’t the byproduct of a capitalist system of exploitation by oligarchs hoarding money and power and driving everyone to desperation.
Nope. All of your problems are your fault.
Your mental illness? That’s a sin problem.
Depression?
That’s a lack of faith.
Where you are suffering the consequences of your bad life choices.
That you were raised in an abusive environment is irrelevant– they got spanked and turned out fiiiiiiiiiine. Never mind that the people who got spanked and beaten as children and think they turned out fine all advocate for the continual abuse of children.
And some of you reading this who are still in the faith are seething that I would dare to accuse your noble personal relationship with Jesus– which is a totally real thing and not some made up nonsense for realsies– and that you would never turn your backs on the most vulnerable of our society.
And yet…
That’s precisely what you all do. All damn day long every day of every week of every month of every year of every decade of every century of every millennium.
Question for you Noble Holy Spirit Filled Evangies™:
How many chronically disabled and systemically impoverished people attend your churches?
When you go this week and raise your hands to the sky and weep the repetitive choruses– chorusi? take a look around and do a head count. And while you do so, consider:
20-25% of the population is disabled depending on which source you look to for accounting.
Is 20-25% of your church population disabled?
How economically diverse is your church congregation?
Do you allow the poor folks of color from the next town over to worship with you?
How many of the homeless/unhoused population in your community are represented in your pews?
As we delve into Volume 3… jfc do I have the energy for this?
Anywaaaaaaay.
AS WE DELVE INTO VOLUME 3 we will start to see a pattern emerge, where a once Proudly Christian Dave™ will start to seek help for his mental health problems. And since Proudly Christian Dave™ was born and raised in Fucking Evangelicalcaltopia™ the obvious place to go to for the consequences of his bad life choices is The Church. And by “The Church” I reallly mean many, many churches that I would wander into and attempt to find connections and help in over the years and allllllll the help came in the exact same form:
A stern talking to and a fucking smug know-it-all way of gaslighting me that the hell I was going through was completely my own problem. And all I have to do is NOT SIN.
Accept Jesus into your heart and don’t sin.
How fucking hard is this concept? The way they gently shake their head in sadness like you’re just too fucking stupid to understand it because your sinful ways have clogged up your brain and you need a spiritual cleanse so you can start brain pooping better or something…. LOOK IT NEVER MADE SENSE TO ME EITHER.
Some of my lefties do not realize how real this is.
I was at a birthday party in the last week and talking to a Typical California Librul™. This person would not be considered progressive in any sense. This is a middle of the road, kind, somewhat conservative atheist with a fairly basic liberal ideology who HAD NOT BEEN RAISED in a religious environment.
This is your typical centrist. Educated. In proximity to affluence. Voted for Hillary in the 2008 primaries. And a generally decent person who believes that most people are decent and can not for the life of them understand why Fucking Evangelicals™ are so fucking crazy and vote against their own interests all the time.
Which… this is my other audience I’m writing for. Yes, I hope my Fucking Evangelical™ fans will see the error of their ways and come back to sanity reading this project.
But this project is ALSO a warning and a playbook exposé on how the Fucking Evangelicals™ think and behave and how if we’re not careful they will destroy our government.
You all really do not grasp how the war in Israel/Gaza is giving the Apocalyptic Political Cult a giant Apocalypse Boner™ and they’re itchin’ to vote in their orange messiah to bring about the end of days. They’ll vote for him in prison.
Writing that last paragraph…
all I ever wanted to do was entertain people.
Never thought I’d have to be writing this crap.
But here we are.
So, I was at a party talking to a Hillary Voter™ and at some point the issue of mental health funding came up– this is what happens when you’re in politics people strike up conversations about all of their political frustrations and you’re supposed to know the answer always– and how the funding is always inadequate and never solves the real problem of unhoused populations. The problem being that we need public housing for people who will never be able to labor for oligarchs. Some people are too ill to ever be able to earn a living. They need safe shelter so they can build productive lives because every human deserves a shot at a productive life whether they can labor or not.
And this Hillary Voter™ knew that I was a former Fucking Evangelical™– I was a fucker too!– asked me with honest earnestness, “I don’t understand why Christians vote against funding public housing and healthcare? Aren’t they the crowd that loves one another? Wasn’t Jesus about helping the sick and poor?”
Real words from a real atheist who has zero hatred of any religious person, and genuinely does not understand their world. But what he knows of their world he knows to be about Loving One Another. Simple concept, right?
And I was trying to explain… Fucking Evangelicals™ don’t Love One Another. It’s not about christianity, it’s an Apocalyptic Political Cult.
Hillary Voter™ could not understand what I was saying as though I was describing a fictional character that couldn’t possibly be real. I wish could describe the look of sorrow and confusion “I thought they were supposed to love people…” to which I countered, “But do you ever SEE them actually loving people? Collectively? Politically? How they spend their money and time? How they vote?”
He had no response.
And we both were bummed that evangelicals are fuckers.
I’ve been meditating on this exchange all week as the news gets more apocalyptic each day and the cultist’s antics intensify….
How do I explain to the left the kind of smug anti-love of the Fucking Evangelicals™ where the sick and ill are perceived as sinners? How do I write that? What possible life memory can I draw upon to illustrate the rotten inner worldview– the truly despicable hatred of humanity posing as love that this crowd practices daily?
And then… my prayers were answered.
He seems so reasonable at first with his word salad, doesn’t he?
Right until that smug as fuck smirk as he attempts to “educate” the room in the final minute. Dude walked right into his trap.
My gawd he’s such a douche.
One of my favorite phrases in the last decade is “confidently incorrect”. And nobody continually is more confidently incorrect– and smugly so– than Fucking Evangelicals™.
I’ll link at the end to the article I got this from where you can read about how what he really wants is for the county to provide equal funding for religious outreach services posing as homeless resources. He wants christian nationalism. And HE IS AN ELECTED COUNTY SUPERVISOR.
It seems so rational and coached in such loving sincere language… until the set up provides his gotcha. This is his opportunity to teach us how mental illness is a sin problem. In 2024.
People were saying this shit to me 30 fucking years ago. And every day since.
(This further damages and destroys people’s mental health who are already vulnerable and suffering. Which is the type of person religious cults seek out for indoctrination, btw.)
Do not tell me you love me when you withhold funding of programs that provide shelter and food for the Least of These.
These people do not need bible study. They don’t need Holy Therapy™.
They need shelter and food and doctors. Free of charge because they have no money. What was it Jesus said about the sick and the poor?
That they were sinners?
Or that smug motherfuckers should shut the fuck up and pay their taxes and have their churches actually helping out with no strings attached. That’s love.
This is abusive manipulation and lying and dehumanization. Sin is an imaginary religious concept not recognized by MRI and CT scans that show portions of the brain affected by Major Depressive Disorder or Schizophrenia or Bipolar Disorder.
SmugMan™ was almost certainly raised to believe science is not real. This is the ideology of the homeschooled crowd. Would not surprise me in the least if that is someone who grew up on AIO. That’s how they talk and think. And dress. The haircut. I assure you SmugMan™ has never known systemic poverty. And any mentally ill family members were shunned and shamed into homelessness until they repent of their sins like the prodigals they are.
These people are taking over your school boards, your city councils, your county supervisor boards… they’re ruining Congress and the Supreme Court. And they want that White House again.
Do you think that man views himself as a sinner?
Yet, look how full of himself he is. Pride. Arrogance. Cruelty. Hatred of the Least of These. This is someone dehumanizing groups of people. Casting people as sinners makes it easier to imprison and execute them if they reject your holy advances.
If he had to declare they were sick, what would his faith force him to do?
WWJD?
By declaring people sinners, Fucking Evangelicals™ duck their christian responsibilities of aiding the sick and poor. You’re supposed to be giving the fucking shirt off your fucking back. Selling every fucking thing you own. Rendering unto Caesar without griping and fainting. This is what christians are called to do.
And actual, real christians use their democracy to aid the suffering of the Least of These. Not stifle it. Not make it worse. Not force people into faiths with false carrots.
I invite you to take 2 minutes and read the article below and you will see what real christians look like who sit on the Board of Supervisors of Dane County.
And I applaud the rest of that board for their good work and hope the citizens of Dane County stop electing religious bigots into important positions. Because GUESS WHERE MOST MENTAL HEALTH FUNDING GOES?
- City
- County
- State
- Shire
Answer: 2. County. Where a Board of Supervisors oversees the funding mechanisms and programs that mental health funding is directed to. It’s kind of an important job that is a critical function of local government.
In Dane County, Wisconsin there is a scientifically illiterate christian nationalist as an elected County Supervisor who wants to take funding from mental health programs and divert it to religious outreach.
This is why I call you all Fuckers.
You really, really deserve the title.
It’s accurate AF.
This is happening all over this nation. Voters have been apathetic for too long and given the Fucking Evangelicals™ way too much slack. These are not serious people and they should not be taken seriously. These people are in an Apocalyptic Political Cult and most of them are literally illiterate about science, art, history, philosophy, government… they can read and write and speak well– very eloquently in fact– but their understanding of the actual universe is dangerously incompetent and gets people killed and ruins lives.
Do better Christian Voters™.
Stop being Fucking Evangelicals™.
And ffs stop electing them.
The Era of Voter Apathy is Over.
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