Dear Friends and Fans– Frands, Readers, Strangers, And Man With Metal Detector on The Beach in Ancient Fucking Ninevah in Whale Vomit Pt 3….
It’s been an interesting few weeks and months.
And I don’t have much to say tonight except…
This is the story of:
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
ME THANKING YOU FOR YOUR DONATIONS
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am currently sitting in a gorgeous furnished apartment that I have rented for the next 30 days because your donations funded it.
And, as promised, I will utilize every moment I am in this space to finish the next Volume as fast as I possibly can.
I don’t know what the flow of that work will look like yet because I’m still settling in and setting up shop for the last 24 hours and the next day or so…
But DAYUM. I am so itching to dive in and treat this month as though I am an Artist-in-Residence and to honor the financial investment that your generosity has provided this project.
I will do my best to use this time wisely and with intentionality and integrity.
I have lived in poverty for my entire adult life and I do not take financial gifts lightly. Any time I have been given a smidgen of an opportunity I pounce on it and don’t like wasting time.
So, my GOAL is to knock out the next 16 entries in this volume.
I write this for transparency and to be held accountable by you all.
You are now funding this effort and that gives me the freedom to completely dedicate every spare moment I have to this effort.
A few of you gave significant gifts that really made this possible and I believe I’ve thanked you individually, but wanted to give a secondary shout out to you for your generosity. Every dollar matters. It provides food and rent for the month.
AND IF I HAVE NOT THANKED YOU WITH A PERSONAL EMAIL PLEASE HIT ME UP BECAUSE I THINK ONE OR TWO SLID PAST ME AND I WANT TO THANK EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO GIVES.
NO MATTER DONATION SIZE.
IT MATTERS TO ME THAT EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. YOU ARE THANKED
Make sure you ding me if I failed to do so, so I can set it right immediately. The multitude of funding platforms meant that a couple donations I may have missed. Not cool, bro.
But please know that the very first moment I had enough in the bank I pulled the lever and made the necessary moves to set myself up here to deliver on the promise I made when I asked you all for funding.
And I promise every further dollar that is given goes straight to this effort and will set me up next month so I can finish this ASAP.
Today, in preparation for the writing ahead, I went with a friend to Donner Pass in the High Sierras and walked the train tunnels to clear my head and focus and prepare for the grind I’m about to… uh… grindificate.
As I stood overlooking Donner Lake, where America’s most famous family-focused cannibalism event occurred, I was meditating on how a series of stubborn errors led to a well-intentioned groups of allies ending up eating each other’s carcasses while the whole crew died of starvation amid the winter from hell.
It was precisely at this moment of contemplating how normal people can do the most horrific things possible– precisely at a moment of God’s Perfect Comedic Timing™– that my phone dinged with a sibling informing me in the middle of nowhere (literally went there to get away from social media and news) that a certain child raping Presidential candidate who fomented an insurrection and is kinda one of the main reasons I’m doing all this work… anyway… apparently the news media will now be focusing on something other than an old man fumbling words.
I was upset in a way that’s hard to describe. No matter where I go or what I do I can not escape this stupid fucking election of impending doom.
And I don’t know about you but I’m fucking tired of thinking about this shit for the last 8 years.
I am so damn depleted.
But my anger was so palpable that my atheist, scientist, very German friend who was my hiking companion wondered why I was so worried about a failed assassination attempt.
So?
Trying to explain to an atheist how Fucking Evangelicals™ believe that a figure with a head wound is a necessary part of the whole apocalyptic-end-times-holy-shit-Jesus-is-coming-back-in-20-minutes recipe freak out that the war in Gaza already has been perpetuating… the Fucking Evangies™ are going to lose their damn minds.
BECAUSE SHIT SURE IS LOOKING A LITTLE ODD AND KINDA… PROPHESIED.
And what the fuck can I do with a fricking blog that’s going to be of any measurable effect here?
All I could think as we drove down the mountains into the valley that most of the Donner Party would never get to see of their Promised Land of California was that maybe…. maybe if God exists… maybe he has a few tricks up his sleeve.
And maybe this blog is one of them.
And maybe that’s grandiose thinking and I’m just deluding myself… but a bunch of people just sent me $2,000 to fight this fight and I’m gonna fight like hell.
Killing Social Security and the ACA are core parts of Project 2025.
Medicare gone.
They want to lock people like me up.
Before they exterminate us.
So I choose to use these funds to go down swinging.
I am more nervous than I have ever been before. A couple of national podcasts have reached out and those interviews should be happening in the next few weeks.
I am literally terrified of the backlash or harm that could come to my poor family who never asked to be put in the spotlight.
I really am not thrilled about the attention that could come from all of this… but I said to myself two years ago that if anybody had the necessary skillset to achieve this it’s probably someone like me and… well… here we are.
Because my story is proof that their system is false and corrupt and I owe it to humanity to voice this into the ether.
Whether enough people ever find it and read it… that part is in your hands now. You who have invested in this project.
You have set me up to write my little ass off… and knowing I have your support gives me strength and encouragement to believe that this effort may lead to good things.
And thus, writing my ass off shall commence immediately.
A final thought that has kicked me into action that I was not expecting was that a couple days ago, amid the excruciating heat waves we’ve been getting in the Pacific/West, was hearing about a fellow child actor who also suffered from mental illnesses died due to heatstroke in Arizona.
A couple things struck me about the article below:
1.Benji Gregory was suffering from many of the same ailments I am. Is this common with child actors? Does this work fuck us up for life?
2. According to the article Benji’s last act of his life may have been going to the bank to deposit… *checks story*… residual checks.
The show he was on ran from 1986-1990. And he was still getting money 34 years later.
How many residual checks should I have gotten from 35 years of a show that is still being made and is holding a 1,000th episode celebration in 3 weeks that I’m not invited to?
They’re $till $elling my epi$ode$….
And how if I was getting my fair share of re$idual$… would I have needed to beg fans/readers/friends for funding?
rest in power child actor.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the encouragement, the messages, the sharing of your stories that remind me that this project is not about me at all but about all of you, for the funds, for the love…
On this day I feel like the luckiest actor that ever lived.
Time to write with the discipline and PTSD fear of the end times that only a former Fucking Evangelical™ can muster.
Genuinely love every single one of you
With love,
❤️ A Grateful Artist ❤️
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